How to Get Up When Life Has Knocked You Down

How to Get Up When Life Has Knocked You Down

As she sat there with her head in her hands, I could feel the emotions that were running through her life at that moment. I knew she wasn’t ready to talk, so I just gave her the silence she needed. Finally, she looked up with tears streaming down her face and said in a soft voice filled with pain, “I never thought this would happen to me. I never thought I would have to face him not loving me any more. I don’t understand what happened. Why would he leave me? I have always been there for him and have worked to make sure we had a great relationship.”

There was a long pause as she wiped the tears from her face. “Richard, I don’t think I can go on with my life. I just want to give up and crawl into a hole and never come out.”

Without her permission, Alice’s life had gone from right side up to upside down.

Mike was so close! He was two years away from being fully vested in his firm and being able to retire and live his life fishing, playing golf and enjoying his grand kids. Then, out of left field came the merger. There had been no warning; just the announcement that the firm was being bought out. The group that had bought them was known to be a company that came in, cleaned house, and cut pay and benefits for those who stayed. The company environment became one of fear, speculation and uncertainty.

Since Mike was a senior player with one of the highest financial packages, he was nervous about what his future would be. When they approached him, their plan turned his world upside down. They presented him with two options. They would give him a buy out package which was much less than what he would receive if he stayed two more years or he could stay and take a 20% cut in pay.

When he called, the tone of his voice told me something was wrong. As we sat at lunch, I could feel his anger. “Who do they think they are?” was his question. “They think they can just come in and treat me like a pawn in their chess game. Richard, I am so angry. I have invested 28 years of my life in this company. When I started, there was no company; there was only a sketch and a prayer. Over the years we have built this company, and now these people think they can come in, overlook all my efforts and tell me what I am going to do.”

“Mike, they can. They now own the company and you work for them. You have to decide what you want to do.”

“I just never dreamed this would happen to me. This is a left turn I didn’t expect.”

Mike’s world has just been turned upside down.

The Wake up Call

How many times have you heard someone say, “Life is not fair!”? It is not about whether life is fair or not; it is about the reality of what has happened. Life may not be fair, but life is life. Things will happen without your permission. You will find yourself in situations you didn’t plan on being a part of. Yes, you will be handed a left turn when you had planned on going straight.

Alice didn’t anticipate getting a divorce. She thought she would be married to Peter forever. That was what she wanted, BUT it was not what she was handed.

Mike thought he would spend his thirty years with the company, retire and enjoy the life he had been dreaming about, BUT that was not what he was handed.

Reality is — in life you will get knocked down. There will be times and situations where your life will take a left turn without your permission. When it happens, it will be a wake up call. You will open your eyes and find yourself standing in an emotional field you didn’t anticipate. Here are some principles to help you get back up when you get knocked down.

Principle #1: Don’t deny what is happening in your life. It is not a question whether your life will be handed a surprise or not; you will get knocked down. Too many have bought into the adage of “fake it until you make it” or “no matter what is happening in your life tell yourself you are doing great.” Both of those are psychologically dangerous. They are you trying to con yourself and it doesn’t work! You can deny, “what is,” but it doesn’t mean it is not real. Any form of resolution starts with you facing what is really happening in your life.

Principle #2: Be honest about how you got knocked down. Too many look for a reason, an excuse or someone to blame, rather than searching for the truth. When you are honest about what brought you to this place, it becomes a lot easier to pick yourself back up. Remember when you are living through excuses, you are designing your life to repeat your wrongs.

Principle #3: Don’t be afraid to ask the right people for help. The key here is asking the “right people.” There are many who would like to help, but not all of them can provide you with the help you need to get back up. When you get knocked down, don’t look around you for help; look up and see those who are standing emotionally taller than you. Reach to them for help.

Principle #4: Find the lesson that goes with the fall. This is critical. If you don’t find the lesson, you will repeat the event until you do. When you are willing to face with honesty what has happened, you will see the reason for the fall and contained within that understanding is the lesson. When the lesson has been found, getting up becomes easier.

Please understand, you will get knocked down! That is not the question; it is a fact. You don’t have to stay down; you can pick yourself up and become a better person because of the experience. If you choose to stay knocked down, you will have to justify doing it. That means convincing yourself to continue a behavior you know is dangerous.

Being knocked down doesn’t mean being knocked out. It is simply a pause in your journey that provides you with a test of commitment, character and confidence.

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For the past 26 years, Richard Flint has been helping people live the life of THEIR dreams, not someone else\'s. He\'ll give you the insight and direction you need to fit the puzzle pieces together perfectly. Listening to Richard for just a few hours is like taking a crash course in \'Success as a Lifestyle\'. To learn more, visit www.RichardFlintsInnerCircle.com and sign up for a 14-day trial to Richard\'s member\'s only website.
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