-------------------------------------------------------- ------------- This article may be freely used provided an active link is included to http://www.heislerink.com/writeaway.asp and provided that the resource box and all article content remain unaltered. Notification is appreciated, but not required. Notify author at jheisler@heislerink.com. -------------------------------------------------------- ------------- 6 Ways to Better Dialogue By Jeff Heisler Question: What's wrong with this segment? "Hey John!" Sam shouted. "Yeah, what?" John replied, puzzled. "Look at this," Sam implored to John. John replied, "Look at what?" Answer: A lot. It needs some work in dialogue mechanics. So what are the rules for dialogue in fiction? Let's go through a few points in no particular order. 1) Simple dialogue tags work best. The most effective tag in fiction is "he said" or "she said." No "he uttered," "he stated," "he implored," or anything similar. 2) You don't need a dialogue tag on every line. Here's some examples for illustration: ---------------------------------------- "Hello sweetheart," he said. "Hello honey," she said. "How was your day?" he said. "Fine, how was yours?" she said. ----------------------------------------- Now- let's look at it again without so many tags. ------------------------------------------- "Hello Sweetheart," he said. "Hello honey." "How was your day?" "Fine, how was yours?" ------------------------------------------ Ahh- that's better. In the second example we get the dialogue without being distracted by the tags. 3) You can also use to few tags. IF you have long strings of dialogue, make sure you throw a tag in now and then so the reader doesn't lose their pace. A good way to do this is to throw some action in there with the dialogue. For example, if you've had a long exchange between the husband and wife in the eample above you could throw in a line like this. ------------------------------------- She sat down at the kitchen table. "I went to the bank today," she said. ------------------------------------- That exchange breaks the monotony of the simple dialogue exchanges and places a touch of action, however small, into the scene. It also serves to keep the reader tuned to the right speaker. It's easy to get lost in long lines of dialogue. This technique helps readers keep their place. 4) Leave exposition out of dialogue. -------------------------------------- "Come on in the car," Frank said. Sam hopped in. Frank started down the road. "This car is great," he said. "It has a 255 horsepower engine, sunroof, and a great stero system." -------------------------------------- Let's try this instead. --------------------------------------- "Hop in," Frank said. Sam hopped in and sank back into the passanger seat. Frank turned on the radio and opened the sunroof before they started off down the road. The engine roared and pushed Sam back in his seat. He smiled at Frank. "Nice car." --------------------------------------- 5) Compress dialogue that contains needless or repetitive details. For example, let's say a character who we'll call John has just been told an amazing story by another character named Mike. Now John needs to share that story with Betty. Instead of repeating the dialague the reader has already heard, just do something like this: -------------------------------------- "Wait till you hear this," John said. He told Betty the whole story. "Wow," said Betty. -------------------------------------- There, now you're ready to move on with the story. 6) Use dialect sparingly. It's too taxing on the reader's mind. If you have a character from Texas with a thick southern accent, instead of this: ------------------------------------ "Y'all ain't see nothin' like dis here messa trouble." ------------------------------------ Use this: ----------------------------------- Kip spoke in his thick Texas drawl, "You all ain't seen nothing like this here mess of trouble." ---------------------------------- That's it. Use those rules and your dialogue will show that professional style you've been looking for. Good luck. -------------------------------------------------------- ------------------ Jeff Heisler is a freelance writer and editor of Write Away. Read more of Jeff's writing articles at http://www.heislerink.com/writeaway.asp. You may also write to Jeff at jheisler@heislerink.com -------------------------------------------------------- ------------------ About the Author Jeff Heisler is a freelance writer and editor of Write |
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