Out of Sight, Out of Mind? Will He Remember You ... the Way You Want Him To?

If you've ever had a long-distance relationship with a guy, and lose out to a new woman he finds in his hometown, even though you two had a phenomenal relationship, you might find some new research interesting, hopefully even consoling.

fMRI, functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging, lets researchers watch human brains in action, providing new information about how we process emotions. And, yes, Virginia, men and women are different.

Before the fMRI, researchers couldn't observe the sequence of activity in various parts of the brain during a given mental activity. The standard MRI only gives a static detailed snapshot of the structure of the brain. The fMRI, however, gives a video, showing how the different
structures interact, dynamically.

It could be you could maintain the LD relationship better because of how you store emotionally-charged memories.

Turhan Canli, Ph.D., a researcher at Stanford University, showed 100 photographs to 12 men and 12 women. Some were emotionally neutral things, like a fire hydrant. Others were emotionally disturbing, like a severed hand.

Three weeks later, he showed them the same images. The women were 15% more likely to remember the emotionally-
charged pictures correctly. The fMRIs showed women store both the memory and the emotion linked with it in the
same parts of the brain. Men, on the other hand, use the same brain regions, but they store the emotions and the memories in different areas within them.

Environmental factors also play a role, researchers added. Girls are taught to manage their feelings by bringing them up and expressing them, while boys are
taught to stuff them down in 'manly' silence.

If you're heartbroken that he couldn't remember how good it was, now you know why. You aren't nuts. You remembered it right, but he remembered it differently.

About the Author

©Susan Dunn, The EQ Coach, coaching and Internet courses on emotional intelligence to enhance your career and relationships. www.susandunn.cc , mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE ezine.