Life is hard enough without piling more and more expectations on yourself. It's like trying to diet in a chocolate factory! Instead try these 7 ways to help you lighten up, reduce worry, and give yourself a break. You'll come out on the other side with a simpler, happier, easier life. 1. Decide Right Now To Expect Nothing. "Wait a minute", you say, "if I expect nothing, won't I get nothing?" Of course you can live "down" to expectations. In this context, however, it means to not get so hung up on needing, wanting, striving, wishing, and pursuing that you miss what's right in front of you. Setting goals to move you towards what you want is definitely important. But what is good and sweet and wonderful in your life right now? What are you missing out on by expecting something better to be around the next corner? 2. Let Some Long-Standing Idealist Goals Die. This can be the most freeing thing you do, and a tremendous sense of relief. Always wanted to be the world's first perfect parent? Are you disappointed in yourself because you haven't yet won the Pulitzer Prize? Are you comparing yourself to the body of a runway model? Does your marriage lack the romance of daytime soap operas? It's time to get over these types of unrealistic goals. Allow yourself to be human. 3. Truly Accept that Failure is The Only Way To Succeed. There's a famous quite that says, "the only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary." The story goes that famous basketball player Michael Jordan was cut from his high school team because he wasn't good enough. History would have been very different if he had let "failure" stop him from working hard at what he wanted to do. Practice patience. Practice failure. Practice. Practice. Practice. 4. Make Peace With Something That You Already Know. What do you already know that you will "learn" in 6 months? What this means is, what is in your life today that is probably going to catch up to you and cause you big trouble 6 months from now? Are you overspending? Is your marriage on shaky ground? Are you living without insurance? Do you have a healthy problem that you're trying to ignore? Make peace with what's going on in your life now, AND make a plan to deal with it. 5. Find Your Real Self Again. Are you internally motivated, or addicted to applause? Do you do things just because "other people" expect you to, or do you do them because you experience joy and peace when you do? Are you living up to your higher goals, or just getting through the day? Is your life a true reflection of what you believe in? Stop trying to "be" who or what you think you ought to be, and instead be willing to accept both your talents and your weaknesses. Then take full responsibility for how they affect you and other people in your life. 6. Find Out What Your Really Want Out of Life. Sounds simple doesn't it. Everybody knows what they want out of life - or do they? Begin by thinking about time where you were (or are) feeling completely happy , content, comfortable - and time just seems to fly by. What are you doing?. Why types of skills and activities are going on? What resources are you using? Many times your talents and passions are so much a part of you that they just seem to go unnoticed. Living your life based on your "big goals" allows you to focus your energy and achieve much more. Otherwise you become a pinball in the game of life. The last step is to "Organize Your Life-Style to Support the Life you Want. Once you've determined what you really want, how your Real Self plays a part in that, and let go of some idealistic goals, you are ready to restructure your life to be a more genuine expression of who you are. Allowing your Real Self to come through, and being comfortable in your own skin and own goals, makes life instantly easier, less stressful, and outright more fun! Put Your Life On A Diet. You have so much information and opportunities coming at you 24 hours a day that it's easy to get caught up in "just stuff". Filter out what you don't want in your life. Would you hire a baby sitter to watch the kids while you spend the afternoon cleaning the closet? Of course not. Carefully consider how you spend your time. Then, consciously - slowly, deliberately, one step at a time - set up your lifestyle to support the way you want to spend your 24 hours. Surround yourself with attitudes, people, resources, and tools that will support the life you want to live. About the Author Kathy Gates, Professional Life Coach, helps people set |
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