Oh, Stop Your Complaining! (i-mail article)

"So...what's it going to be today? Complain or contribute?

I had not expected an i-mail from Other-Self so early in the morning. I was barely into my second cup of coffee.

But then I have no control over nagging i-mails. They arrive internally at unexpected times and demand an immediate answer. Unlike standard e-mails, they have no delete button and sit like a flashing banner ad on the monitor of my mind.

Wearily I replied, "Couldn't you have at least waited until my brain booted up?"

"Nonsense. Now's the time to set your day. So I repeat. What's it going to be? Complain or contribute?"

"I don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about. I've got eight phone calls to make...an appointment with that idiot, Bernard...letters to write...forms to fill out....and a thousand other things to do. It's going to be another of those stupid crazy days. So I'm in no mood to answer your dumb questions."

"I see. Already it's a complaint day. Too bad. You've been having so many of them lately."

"You'd have complaint days too if you had to put up with my nowhere job."

"Nowhere jobs are generally nowhere because people don't look beyond nowhere to anywhere. Which brings me to a question. What do you really want to have happening in your life?"

I hate these kind of questions. "If this is going to be one of those ‛what ever happened to your dream' lecture, stuff it. I'm too busy for a trip down fantasy lane."

"Fantasy? Is that what you call your future? No wonder you have so many complaint days."

"Yeah...well dreams don't put food on the table. And I happen to know that if you don't get your daily fill you growl a lot."

"Please hear me. I'm not suggesting you cop out of the employment line. But making a few contributions toward your dreams couldn't hurt."

"Oh, that's really wonderful. I'm working my kazoo off to keep body and soul together. I come home at night with hardly enough energy to pick up the television remote and you want me to go out and be a world beater. Talk about fantasy, guy. You've got a first-class ticket on the trip."

"I don't recall mentioning anything about being a world beater. Just a contributor. After all, you did have dreams once."

"Sure I did. But I discovered I couldn't afford them."

"Too bad. Because you'll never be a contributor without them."

"Hey, listen! I'm a contributor. I go to work everyday. I go to church on Sunday. I pay my taxes."

"That's not contributing. That's coasting. Contributing is when you start giving a little more of yourself than duty demands."

"Like what, for instance?"

"Like for instance your talents, abilities and experiences. Where do you think dreams come from? When you're good at something you want to contribute that good. This becomes a dream. Deny the dream and you slouch into a bundle of complaints."

"That sounds very high-minded. It also sounds irresponsible. I may not like my life right now but it's the only one I've got. So unless I win the lottery, I just have to keep prodding the same road."

"Actually...you don't. You can change your life by simply making every day a contributing day. Do something...maybe several somethings...that make a contribution toward one or more dreams. These somethings don't have to be big or time consuming. But they will tend to change your focus from complaining to contributing.

"And I suppose you think the payoff will be a lot of big time answers to all my dreams."

"Maybe. Maybe not. It doesn't matter. The real payoff is feeling better about yourself and your future."

"And what will your contribution be?"

"Why I thought you had that figured out. I'm your friendly butt kicker."

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About the Author

Doug C. Grant retired from a successful career as a nationally recognized business writer & marketing consultant. He now helps members of the ‛Over-50', crowd live healthier, happier and more productive lives through his Empowered Maturity Web Site (http://www.dougcgrant.com) and an on-line interactive seminar.