I'd Pick The Nature Boy!

 by: Ed Williams

Have y’all ever had someone ask you the question, “If you could pick anyone alive to spend some time with, who would it be?”

My money says that just about all of you have been asked this somewhere along the way. And, since that’s likely the case, it might be fun to discuss this a little bit this week. The person we’d pick would tell others a lot about ourselves, I think. And, with that thought in mind, would y’all like to know who I‘d pick ?

Well, I sure hope the answer to that is “yes,” or else I’m wasting a good chunk of time writing this particular column. If I could pick anyone in the world to talk with, it wouldn’t be the obvious choices like the President, the Pope, or a famous movie actor or actress. If I could spend time talking with anyone walking the face of the earth today, it’d be the Nature Boy, Ric Flair.

That’s right, the Nature Boy Ric Flair. The sixteen time world heavyweight wrestling champion. If I were a betting man, and I am, I’d bet that some of you out there might have a somewhat bewildered expression going on your faces right about now. Well, I can understand that, so give me a chance to explain and y’all might better understand why I’d pick the Nature Boy.

A lot of us guys around here grew up in very rural settings. We either lived out in the country, on farms, or even in the woods. Because we lived “out in the sticks,” our lives evolved mostly around church, school, and home, in fact, most of our weekends were spent at home. And, if you were one of us guys during a typical Saturday in the seventies or eighties, your TV viewing choices were either cartoons or professional wrestling. On account of that, many of us opted for wrestling - we loved the costumes, the theatrics, and the athleticism of it, but most of all I think we loved the interviews. And folks, no one shone brighter in the ring or behind the mike than the Nature Boy Ric Flair. To understand why I‘d love to meet him, let’s take a walk down memory lane to recall some of the Nature Boy’s most classic lines....

Situation: Flair is about to take on Dusty Rhodes, the American Dream, for the world heavyweight championship back in the mid-eighties. Big Dust’ is a great wrestler, but, if the truth be told, he was just a tad overweight. Okay, more than just a tad overweight. Anyway, Jim Ross, the TV announcer, asks the Nature Boy if he’s concerned about his upcoming match with Big Dust‘...

“Concerned? Concerned about Dusty Rhodes? Listen to me, Jim Ross, and listen good - fat boys are my specialty.”

Situation: Flair is doing an interview on the Super Station, TBS Channel 17, which is owned by Ted Turner in the late eighties. At that time, Turner also owned the Atlanta Braves and the Atlanta Hawks, both of whom absolutely stunk. Flair’s dressed in a custom made suit, wearing a Rolex watch, and the crowd is just booing the devil out of him. The Nature Boy calmly looks over at the announcer and says,

“Jim Ross, do you know why I make all this money?”

“Why’s that, champ?”

“Cause I’m the only winning franchise that Ted Turner’s got!”

Check out these comments from Flair to a TV announcer after he wins the world championship for the fourth time using some of the vilest tactics imaginable,

“Let me tell it to you like this, Mr. TV announcer. My name’s Ric Flair, and I’m not a second place kind of guy. Bottom line, I’d whip my grandmother’s butt if it means becoming the world heavyweight champion. Let’s face it, no one would remember how I whipped her three weeks later, but they’d remember that I’m the champ! Whooooo!”

Doncha love it? I sure did, and so did most of us rural country boys. We loved Slick Ric’s ability to make us laugh and smile just about anytime he appeared on TV. Ric Flair brought happiness to a whole lot of us, and I’d love to personally thank him for that one day, if I ever get the chance. And, as we close this week, I’m leaving y’all with one more classic quote from the champ...

“I’m a limousine ridin’, jet flyin’, kiss stealin’, wheelin’ dealin’ sonofagun! I’m the best thing goin‘ today! Bottom line, I’m Ric Flair, and you aren’t pal! Whoooooo!”