Why A Father is Not A Dad

 by: Brian Maloney

It can be said that any man who procreates is a father, whether present in that child’s life or not. While this is technically true, it really takes a man to be a dad!

There is nothing more insulting than a cavalier man thinking he has every right in the world to see the child he helped to create, but was never there for him or her. It is as if he or she is obligated to him like that of a debt.

As a child of a broken home and now as a father myself, I know the purest definition of being a dad is the time spent with your child that will always prevail in the end.

Would you remember your father more if he was a millionaire but never there, or a near-penniless man who spent time with you and showed you the love you needed?

To me, it’s a no brainer!

However, many dynamics can and do interfere with being a dad. Turmoil-ridden marriages, separations, relocations, resentment from the child, and the ever-abundent brainwashing of a child to hate.

So if you’re a father doing his best to be a dad, how do you overcome such obstacles?

Do everything in your power to maintain the bond you have with your child! If that means following that child to timbuktu and lose your career, getting on better terms with the child’s mother, or simply putting more time into strenghthening the father-child relationship.

If there is anything I can take from my own father, is that of sporadic appearances and child support from over 2000 miles away never satisfied my need for a dad. Today, as a 32 yr. old man, it has never been so evident how important a dad is in a child’s life. My humble opinion is that I would have had a lot less security issues had a dad been present in my childhood.

When your child was created, that little person should have been the most important part of your existence and to vow never to break that mindset should have been paramount. The seriousness of having a child from the conception and subsequently recognizing his or her importance could be the factor with dead beat dads in most cases.

How do you rank your values?

Simply put, if you’re ranked above your child, you’re not being a dad, you’re the father of that child who simply donated your sperm for his or her life.

Instead of just being a donor to another’s life, commit to taking the time to know your child and let them get to know you no matter what the conditions.

With this in mind, you will be doing the most important job of your life and that is helping the life you created become a loving, well adjusted person who can pass these parenting traits down to the next generation.

After all, isn’t that what being a dad is all about?