What Do You Truly Value Most?

 by: Brian Maloney

Believe it or not, values are in the core of all of us. These underrated rankings tell more about us than we could ever imagine. Yet, many of us overlook this extremely important portion of our lives.

Why do we?

Because so many of us get caught up in the race of life and flying ahead of others becomes more important. If becoming a better person everyday is important to you, (and it should be) you need to make this crucial evaluation before ever progressing forward.

Lets say hypothetically you have a lot of personal issues unresolved, for whatever reason. In addition, you realized that due to your being so self absorbed, you are the highest value in your respective life and always have been.

Whew! A lot to have realized.

Your partner, child, job, friends, religion, car and pets are all inferior to your number one position. This has a lot to do with your feeling a lack of personal security that can be made to feel secure by centering yourself in the spotlight at all times.

The world owes you the favors!

This mindset is ultimately destructive and counter- productive at best. Although, you do as much as needed to hide this characteristic of your personality, your thickened veneer will grow more transparent as the days go on. The people you hold most dear will eventually see right through it.

By not holding your partner and children in the number one position, you are not only taking their love for granted, but in time setting yourself up to losing them, or at best, they will grow to resent your obvious narcissism.

The fact is that everyone in the world has naturally selfish tendencies. How would we anticipate a reward for a job well done without thinking of ourselves?

To what degree do we keep this selfish viewpoint close to the chest? That is a very important question to always ask yourself.

Balancing this aspect of your heart and your intentions with this question could certainly be the single most important question you ask yourself throughout the course of your life.

If ranked properly, your values can dictate your future by holding yourself below rather than at the top. Your interpersonal relationships will be guided by this ranking.

However, this is not something you can fake!

This point cannot be said more emphatically. Introspectively gaze into your heart and truly ask yourself this poignant question.

If you still come out of that experience with yourself as the most important, than your living too selfishly. Additional introspection would definitely be indicated at that point to gauge what is most important.

To further illustrate, here is a simple example: Your young daughter is in the second grade and tonight she has her first play opening. She is the innocent bunny, but your Friday nights have historically been designated for haning out and drinking with the guys.

Quite a dilemma, huh?

Should I see my daughter’s first play performance or should I let my super important friends down because if I do, I might lose one or two of them since I’m not a ‘gamer’. You think this will inevitaly ruin or dent up my social life.

Hmmmm...

Well if the answer is to go to the bar with your friends, you are slowly or quickly ruining what should be the most precious relationships to you. Your daughter and partner. If it was not even a question and you wouldn’t have missed her play for the world, then you’d be surprised how many selfish people would have picked the social situation.

This example is one of a million I could have come up with that determines your higher and lower values in life. Deciding what's more important to you and committing yourself consistently to this mindset.

It is not as important the farther you go down the list of high values, but your number one and two are of the utmost importance.

Try to make certain it’s not you at numero uno!

Being selfless is a mindset, especially towards your family and living life with an empathetic attitude toward the rest of the world, creating a more harmonious existence. Moreover, this will eventually speak volumes about your character and lessen the burden of guilt that can eat away at your very core.

If you strive to live cleaner, not a necessarily more boring existance, you’ll want to examine your highest and lowest values in your life everyday and vow to maintain their order. They will keep you mentally healthy and always progressing.